Teacher character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to help x develop some self-directive principle, so that I could be praised for how good a 'teacher' I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take over my father's teacher character, because I perceived teachers as respectable and good people, who do things for the good of others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to teach people things, when I see/perceive that they don't know something that I do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to be seen/perceived by others as a 'good teacher', and get praise and recognition from them about it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a teachery stance, when and as I try to explain something to someone who does not yet have the information that I am conveying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the teacher character in order to make myself feel superior to other people, because I've defined/perceived teachers as 'good people'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior to others, whenever I see/perceive that I have knowledge that other people don't.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that the more knowledge I have, the greater my worth is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define and validate myself according to the amount of knowledge that I am able to present to others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive myself as a 'smart person' and feel superior within it, instead of realising that I am creating inequality by doing so, because no being is smarter or stupider, we only have different positions within the system that enables or disables us from having a proper education.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/define myself as an 'educated person', and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create separation by defining some people as more educated and therefore superior to others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate and define education with being succesfull within the system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to have a good education in the system, so that I could be perceived by others as superior and more than people without my level of education.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive myself as superior to other people, because I perceive that I have a broader general education and knowledge than most people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior to others, because I have some knowledge of biochemistry.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive natural sciences to be superior to societal studies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/define myself as a teacher and wish/want/need/desire to be a teacher, because I perceive/define the teaching calling to be nice and cool.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that teachers have great jobs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive teachers as respectable people, without realising how I am supporting separation within myself by doing so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the teacher character in order to make myself appear as smart, attractive and interesting to other people, and have them validate me as more than others for it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that every time I try to teach something to someone, I am entering the teacher character that I took up from my father, therefore

I realise that when and as I want/need/desire to teach something to someone, I am actually wanting their recognition to be able to feel good/superior about myself, therefore I stop, I breathe, I do not allow myself to go into teacher character. Instead I investigate and remove the point with self-forgiveness, and direct myself in breath with common sense towards what is best for all.

"I will form relationships with my partner's family, so that I wouldn't have to be absolutely self-responsible" character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to hide behind my partner in terms of material safety, and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lie to myself and pretend and make myself appear that I am helpful and helping my partner, in order to hide from myself the fact that I am relying on their material and financial stability to keep me safe in the future in this world, instead of realising that I need to end these kinds of relationships in order to learn to stand on my own.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to spend as much time as possible with my partner's family, in order for me to efficiently infiltrate their ranks and make them like me, so that I could seem to be part of them, could live with them and therefore wouldn't have to take absolute self-responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed of myself for hiding behind my partner and hoping that I will have material and financial stability with them in the future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope that my partner will provide me with material and financial safety and security in the future, if I do things for them now and make myself appear to be a helpful and nice person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form relationships with my partner's family in order to keep myself in interaction with them, so that I could justify being and living with them in the future,  because I do not feel safe and secure on my own.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form a character that my partner's family will like, in order for me to be able to live with them in the future, and with that secure my own material and financial easy street in the future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pretend that I like the people in my partner's 

family, so that they would like me back and accept me as a family member and allow me to be/live with them in the future, so that I wouldn't have to struggle and fend for myself on my own.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of living on my own in the future and fending for myself.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realise how I am abdicating my self-responsibility by forming relationships with my partner's family members.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope/wish/want/need/desire for my partner's family to see me as a valuable asset to the family, hard-working and non-complaining, so that I would secure my place among them in the future and be able to justify it with "I am helpful".

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to gossip and talk shit about my partner's family with my partner behind their back, in that creating an even more special relationship with my partner, so that 

I would ensure that I would never be left to fend for myself, but would always have a safehaven with my partner at all times.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my self-dignity in order to compromise myself by creating a character that my partner's family will like and want to support me in the future, so that I would not have to be absolutely self-responsible, but could hide behind them and make them responsible for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create relationships with my partner's family in order to not have to take absolute self-responsibility for myself and my world, instead of remaining here in breath and directing myself with common sense towards what is best for all.

When and as I see forming/creating/supporting relationships with other people in my head in order to avoid having to take absolute self-responsibility, I stop, I breathe, I investigate the point, relase it with self-forgiveness, and direct myself in breath with common sense towards what is best for all.

I commit myself to stop and remove all relationships, because I realise that I form relationships with people in order to not have to take absolute responsibility for myself and my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to bind myself to my partner by allowing him and his parents to take care of me in terms of giving me their car to drive and giving me money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be nice to my partner's parents and suck up to them and flatter them and their work/intelligence/achievements/children in order to manipulate them into liking me and wanting me around in the future, so that I could enjoy their home and not have to deal with having to be absolutely self-responsible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to envy my partner because i perceive that he has more material stability within this world than me, and blame him that he is better off than me, and should feel bad about that, and want to help me, so that I would not have to be absolutely self-responsible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to infiltrate my partner's family who I perceive to be more materially and financially stable than my own, in order to be able to enjoy that stability and safety and security in the future, instead of realising that by forming relationships with them in order to infiltrate them, I am abdicating my responsibility for myself in the future and with that I am abdicating my power to the people I have formed relationhsips with, thus - I am making myself dependant on their "will" and thus - I am gambling - and gamblers usually loose.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to have a rich partner, so that I wouldn't have to work too hard in this world in order to secure my survival, instead of realising how by doing so I am compromising myself and abdicating my self-responsibility and self-certainty and exchanging  them for a gamble.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that in order to have a dignified life, I must find a partner with a lot of money, instead of realising how self-interested I am for wanting a better life for myself in the face of children dying from famine in this world.

"I'll make my partner form relationships with my family, so that he would never leave me" character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to make my partner stay with me by creating an illusion of safety for him in my family, and make him form relationships with my family members and with that bind him to me for all eternity to be at my disposal as I like.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to completely transform my partner into my family member, so that I could manipulate him with memories and "what I have done for him" into being/staying with me, so that I would not have to be alone and face myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire for my partner to be and become like siblings with my siblings, so that I would have an easier time manipulating him into doing what i want with those emotional bonds.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate my partner with the emotional bonds that he has created with my family members, and extort him with their opinions of him (which I can also manipulate), if he desn't do what I say and want.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make my partner feel appreciated from my family's side by doing things for us, so that I could further manipulate him with praising and making him feel good about himself around me, so that he would want to spend as much time with me as possible, and not wander around and hang with other people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and prevent my partner from expanding himself with other people, simply because I want him to be with me all the time, give me worth and value, because I do not like myself and I do not accept myself by myself - so I need/want/desire for him to do it for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into absolute fear, whenever I see/perceive my partner wanting to be and hang with other people, because if that happens - I will feel less than and abandoned.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate my partner by letting him drive my car, and with that holding him on a very short leash, so that I can call him and demand he come to me whenever I want him to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use and abuse my partner in order to feel powerful and in control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to control my partner with money and material safety in the future, which I know is not real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to threaten my partner that I will take away his material safety in the future - leave him - if he doesn't do as I say and demand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior for manipulating my partner into being only with me and not allowing him to expand with other people, and feel inferior whenever he does that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to who my partner is spending time with, when he is not with me, according to my own relationships that i have formed with those people in my head.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel diminished, inferior and less than, whenever my partner spends time with other people and not me.

"You're such awesome support, I couldn't do this without you" character

We tend to go into different personalities, whenever we want to manipulate people into doing something for us, when we do not want to take self-responsibility. We manipulate with fear, anger, sadness, happiness, readiness, willingness to learn... a particular character of mine within the "nice, flirtatious personality" is one that comes out, when I want to manipulate someone into giving me attention and energy. I call it "you're so assisting and supportive to me, I could not possibly do this without your help, stay and help me forever" character.

It's a very deceitful character, one that makes sure that the recipient of those words feels appreciated, valued, respected and cherished, and above all, they're designed to make them stay close to us and give us attention, with which we assure ourselves safety and survival in the future - by manipulating the person, who we want to make responsible for ourselves so we wouldn't have to be, with nice words of dependency.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pretend that I cannot do something on my own, so that I could lie to another that I cannot do it, and with energetic words of praise of their effectiveness in the subject make them stay with me and bind them to be at my disposal whenever I want them to be.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate another person with playing on their ego with words.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use/abuse my knowledge of another person's ego in order to emotionally manipulate them into my own self-interest.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to manipulate my partner into liking me and wanting to be with me by praising him and flattering him and telling him how much better he is than me, so that I would appear to be worshiping him, so that he would want to stick around and be with me in a relationship.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid that I will loose a relationship, if I do not praise and flatter people, instead of remaining here in breath and acknowledging other people as equals, which do not want to be manipulated, just like I don't want to be manipulated.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with annoyance and resentment, whenever I see/perceive someone trying to manipulate me with niceness and asking for assistance from an emotional manipulation starting point, instead of realising that I am reacting, because I have not cleared the point yet myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to flatter my partner and fill his ears with praise about how great a support he is to other people in our mutual surroundings, so that I would achieve him wanting to be around me and prove himself as helpful and assisting and supportive, so that I would ensure my survival and safety within this capitalistic system of abuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use and abuse other people's emotional attachment to me, to manipulate them into doing things for me and my self-interest, in order to secure my own safety and survival within the capitalistic system of abuse, instead of realising my self-responsibility towards myself and others to share and spread the knowledge that I have applied for myself succesfully and freed myself enough to see how I am an emotional slave of the system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with anger, whenever I see controlling going on in relationships, which is not being realized by the participants, instead of realising that I see and react to control because I want to control and manipulate my surroundings in self-interest for safety and survival, rather than directing myself with common sense and trust myself unconditionally and stay here in breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to manipulate my surroundings with words and with that abdicate my self-responsibility because of self-interest for survival and safety, instead of speaking only after I have cleared my starting point for speaking into equality

infatuation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I am less than/inferior, whenever an ex gets married/becomes involved with someone else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to be the only one girl that my partner desires.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that partners should be in love/have eyes only for each other.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in this separation of only two people having to be together forever, within that excluding the rest of existence by separating ourselves/myself into a mind dimension that is not real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I should be infatuated/in love/have eyes only for one person at a time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enjoy the feeling of infatuation, and with that addict myself to it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to the feeling of infatuation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I have become addicted to the feeling of infatuation, and that I cannot live without it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the energetic feeling of infatuation and believe that it is love that I must be feeling, instead of realising that this energetic feeling in my body is not in fact me, but an experience I am having of this physical body, and do not have to accept as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire/crave/pursue the energetic feeling of infatuation, and compromise myself while doing it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that there is no life without love, which I have mistaken the energetic feeling of infatuation for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive the energetic feeling of infatuation as good.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into the energetic feeling of infatuation and enjoy it, rather than breathing and staying here.

When and as I see myself wanting to experience infatuation, I stop, I breathe, I realise that that desire is not me, but in fact a pattern, a program that is keeping me from realising myself and who I am without any feelings, thoughs and emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to own the person whom I perceived has triggered the energetic feeling of infatuation within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid and worried that x is going to want to stop x from being with me and having sex with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to stop my partner from being with and having sex with other women.

memories of "love"

When I was little, I used to tell my mom that I love her when I was trying to avoid being punished for something. She would come at me all aggressive and angry, and I was in total fear of corporal punishment, therefore I tried manipulating her into not hitting me by telling her that I love her. It usually didn't work, I'd get punished anyway. I tried the same thing with my father, but with him it worked even less.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate my parents/people with love and tell them that I love them in order to prevent them hurting me physically/emotionally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate my family/people with love and tell them that I love them in order to secure their kindness towards me in the future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate love with kindness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pretend to love certain people in order to get other people, who are connected to them, to like and love me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and manipulate certain men/people into liking/loving me by pretending to like/love people and things that are close to them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to persuade myself that I love someone, whom I perceived to be eligible to take care of me monetarily.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realise that my love is conditioned with the amount of safety that I am perceiving that person being able to give me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for safety with other people, and mask it as love.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that parental love exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire for my parents to love me, because that would ensure my survival in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate love with survival.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive love as something that will keep me safe in this world from the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will never experience real love according to the definition I have conjured up in my head, instead of realising how that definition is not real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in the power of love and wish for it to exist in spite of clear evidence of the contrary.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive love as this unexplainable force that makes everything move, despite the clear evidence of it's non-existence in various forms of violence in this world.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realise and understand that love is the energetic prison of the mind in which I am preoccupied and busy with my little world - chasing love, not even knowing that I am a prisoner of myself, deaf to the cries of agony and abuse of the real world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imprison myself within the idea of romantic love with that special someone, despite being aware that all people I have known had several special someones, and I was expecting the same thing for myself in this life, so how can a special someone exist, if there are always more of them?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid that I will never find that special someone for myself, instead of realising and understanding love and trusting myself that my observations of love do not match the general accepted belief about it, thus understanding and realising that the special someone does not exist.

My mother used to tell me that there is someone out there for everyone. I was being all sad, when I was a teen, because I hadn't experienced romantic love yet, and she said that the special someone is already walking this earth, oblivious that he is the special someone for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope and search for that special someone to give me romantic love and make me feel better about myself and complete, instead of realising that I am already complete, there are no physical parts missing from me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that one can be complete only in a romantic relationship with someone else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that love is the most beautiful thing on earth and that I should spend all my life trying to achieve it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make it the centre point of my existence to experience love and fulfil my mission of getting love.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate gentleness, kindness, touching and sex with love.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel the urge to love someone else and show them love, and believe that that is the only time when my love is valid - through giving it to someone else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I must be loved by another, and until I am, I have no worth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to validate myself and give myself worth according to other people telling me that they love me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tell other people that I love them in order for them to feel validated and like me in turn.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from love by believing that it should come from outside from another person, and in order for that to come, I must look my best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I must look like societies definitions of beauty in order to experience love.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive myself as inadequate-looking in order to be able to experience the perfect love that I perceived thin people to be experiencing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be sad and angry about my looks, because I perceived that I wouldn't be able to experience love because I don't look like society's norm demands.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that only pretty and thin people get to experience love.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to experience love due to my looks.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as unhappy due to my looks, because of my belief that if I am not pretty/thin enough, I will not get to experience love.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate love with sexual attraction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I am not sexually attractive enough due to my weight in order to be able to experience love.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself in terms of starving myself in order to achieve my illusion of love.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to condition myself and my body in order to be able to experience love, without realising that conditional love is no love at all, but merely survival in the context of assuring myself sex and safety with another person in the future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that when I am sexually attracted to someone, I am in love with them, instead of realising that love that is based on and conditioned by physical appearance is not real love in equality, but a system of survival that keeps the human enslaved in the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I am in love with a person who fits my accepted visual and societal definitions of a partner who is eligible to be the father of my potential children.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pick and choose men to "fall in love with" according to my own definitions and perceptions of a perfect male for me.

When I was 12, I could choose and control whom I "fall in love with". Later that disappeared, as I started believing that one cannot have control over whom one "falls in love with".

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I cannot control whom I fall in love with, despite my clear experience of me being able to do so as a child.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the game of competing with other women in terms of looks and getting love, appreciation and attention from males.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to thin women and perceive myself as unable to participate equally within the energetic game of comparison and competition, and therefore fear that I will never be able to experience real love.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to be able to participate within the energetic game of comparison and competition with other women in terms of looks and getting love from males.

When and as I see myself comparing/competing with other women in terms of looks, I stop, I breathe, I investigate the point, I release it with self-forgiveness, and I direct myself within common sense towards what is best for all.

releasing love

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as spiteful, resentful and angry towards the idea of love, because I never considered myself able or capable of achieving what I considered to be perfect love.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive perfect love as a relationship that remains the same at the end as it was in the beginning, instead of realising and understanding from the physical evidence that I have observed in this world, that such love does not exist.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to chase the experience of love, which I have conjured up in my head.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the ideas of love that I have conjured up in my head.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel disappointed and sad, because I perceived that I wasn't able to achieve the perfect love that I have conjured up in my head.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel incredulous, angry and annoyed, whenever I see people not wanting to understand love like I do, and rather cling on to their illusion and definition of it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed of the fact that I was chasing love and wasn't seeing the reality and actuality of it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at myself for having chased the illusion of love instead of realising myself and the self-love I have to give myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope that love exists, so that I wouldn't have to take care of myself in absolute self-honesty, but could hide behind that someone I "love" to take care of me and nurture me, instead of me doing it myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pretend to love my partners, instead of realising and understanding that I am hiding existential fear behind the feeling of love.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become codependent with my "love" partner, and abdicate my self-responsibility to the notion and idea of love, which should be enforced with gestures and touches.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide myself from myself in relationships with other people.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire for my partner to be responsible for me and my emotional well being and monetary status in this world, instead of realising the fuckup of love and taking full responsibility towards myself as this world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to demand from my partner to make me feel better about myself, because I experienced myself as unable to give to myself what my partner is able to give to me.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realise that in making my partner responsible for my emotional and monetary well being, I am absolutely abdicating my self-responsibility and power to my partner.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to validate myself and give myself worth according to the feedback of my partner to my emotional demands, which were made in absolute abdication of self-responsibility.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of not being in an emotional relationship and having to take full responsibility for myself in emotional and monetary terms.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel annoyed about the situation with the illusion of love in the world, instead of realising that the annoyance is coming from a thought pattern that I have yet to untangle.
When and as I see myself becoming emotional/having a reaction towards the idea and illusion of love in this world, I stop, I breathe. I do not allow myself to go into reaction. Instead I look at the point in self-honesty, release it with self-forgiveness and direct myself in common sense towards what is best for all.

definitions of love

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to mask my fear of being alone, fear of not having sex and fear of not having security in the future as love.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in the illusion of love in spite of clear evidence that love does not exist in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive love as an individual experience that one should strive towards getting according to the definitions of love I have picked up from the social media.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/validate/confirm love with the physical sexual urges that I have experienced within my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a conglomerate of ideas about love in my head, and with them validate and confirm the existence of love in this world, despite the evidence of its absence  in forms of wars, rapes, violence and general dissociation of the global community towards such atrocities.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive my sexual urges towards males as "infatuation", which "comes before actual love".

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that infatuation, which is caused by hormones and neurotransmitters in my body, leads to "love", once those hormones stop working, instead of realising that I am putting a nicely ringing name to co-dependence and fear of the future/not having sex/not having security.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/define love as something beautiful that just happens to two beings, instead of realising and seeing the preprogramming that exists within the patterns by which I play out my love constructs.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realise the fuckup of love in the moment when I asked myself whether love is really supposed to be this hard.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/define love as something that one must work hard for in order to maintain it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that if I keep my sexual life interesting, that the love will never die.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate/connect love with sex.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in love, despite the evidence of it being able to die.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to marry my partner in order for us to promise each other undying love and label it as romantic, instead of realising that if love existed, no promising would actually have to be made.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that the male makes a decision on which female he is going to marry, and then he must ask her with a ring, and the female must wait for a suitable male to ask for her hand in matrimony.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire for a male to romantically ask me to marry him.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive marriage as romantic, instead of realising it for the economic-emotional structure that it really is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that a couple who is married must be in love.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that love is the answer to all global and personal problems, instead of realising that love does not exist.

Desteni Process is the ultimate solution to conflict

Today I flipped out, because I couldn't bear to watch my agreement partner energetically woe another woman. We had a picnic together and he was busy with her all the time, and I felt awesomely betrayed, because he hadn't even asked me how I was doing. He saw that I had problems with what he's doing, therefore he was probably afraid to even approach me.

At the picnic all I could do was stare at the fire and do self forgiveness in my head and breathe and bring myself back here all the time, but in that I was also suppressing a world of self-judgement, which I have yet to fully write out.

The girl went home with us, slept over, and left in the morning before we woke up. Later in the day my partner asked me whether I would want to go to her place to hang and sleep over. I knew this was going to happen, and I went to write out my reactions beforehand, but I still failed to keep my cool when I was approached with the question.

I got angry at him for not wanting to write his desires out, but there was another Destonian in the room, and we managed to cool things down. And so we left for that place. I took my computer with me, to be able to immediately write out my reactions to my partners interaction with that girl, but when we got there, nothing happened, because she was not there. I had a bit of spiteful backchat, but I stopped it, and we went to sleep.

The next morning he woke me up in such a nice way, that I could not be angry, which is kind of a miracle, because I was always an absolute anti-morning person. My family members used to avoid me in the mornings in fear of having their heads bitten off - a consequence of long-lasting anger at having to get up in the morning and go out into this shitty world to school, and later to work. Usually all my anger gushes up in the mornings, and sometimes it's still hard to deal with it.

So everything was fine, until we started skyping each other during work. One question lead to another, and before I knew it, I was possessed by anger again. I was blaming him for not wanting to write out his desires, and he was blaming me for my reactions. In the end I told him that I will pay rent only after he writes out his desires. "But that's blackmail!" -"Yeah, deal with it."

But when he got home, we both started writing, we went for a walk, we talked, and later we did self forgiveness together on skype, which is awesomely effective. The conflict died. In my relationships this kind of situation would have lead to disaster. The contrast between agreements and relationships is quite profound.

My partner and I have been walking process together for about 4 months, and in that time we have overcome many differences, which would have made my previous relationships crumble like a house of cards. I'm eternally grateful that Desteni exists.

Consequences

Today my past came to haunt me in a spectacular way. A friend challenged me, in front of his former girlfriend, who still has feelings for him, with absolutely no regard for what she's experiencing, whether I ever wanted to have sex with him.

It was a blushing moment for me, because I had made a subtle pass, an insinuation at this person in the past, solely because at that time in my life I needed the confirmation and attention of every single male figure in my world to validate me as "desirable" and "good enough", all stemming from a deep sense of insecurity. So I blushed and said "no", because I felt awfully sorry for the girl, because I sure as hell wouldn't want something like this to be happening to me, but I saw that she was self-directive enough to not react, so I came clean and breathed through the moment, while rolling my eyes in an apologetic manner. I had made a pass at her boyfriend with no regards for other people involved in the situation, and this was not the only case when that happened. I "took over" my first boyfriend from his then girlfriend and shut off any feelings of guilt due to my own self-interest. I considered myself to be "the other woman" type, and I kind of accepted and allowed that about myself - that insatiable hunt for my own pleasures and desires, without actually regarding what I am doing to other people.

Funny thing, I wrote these self-forgivenesses just yesterday, and I was amazed at how well they worked, as I was able to stand through any and all energetic manipulations from this friend, without wanting to compromise myself for his attention.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to occupy men, whom I have no interest in, but still like their attention.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to insinuate sexual activities to men, who I have no interest in having sexual activities with, in order to get their attention and feel good about myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to talk to other people from the starting point of validating myself through their attention, and within that compromise my expression as life within oneness and equality.

the ugly side of the mind

I've been observing lately how I manipulate myself into jealousy and desire through other people. I feed on the energy of people around me, on their attention or lack thereof. There is no me. There is only everyone else, and me wanting to be equal to them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to energetically feed on people giving me attention.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as superior, whenever I get attention from people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become dependant on the energetic high of getting people's/the opposite sex's attention.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience and become subdued to an energetic low, whenever I do not get attention from people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as unequal to people/the opposite sex, instead of realising myself as a physically equal being to all beings on earth.

Whenever I catch myself trying to overpower equal beings within my desire for attention/feeling inferior for not getting attention,- I stop, I breathe, I do not allow myself to need/take the right- to feed on the energetic dependence of others towards me, because I realise that this is not Life as who I am within oneness and equality.

I don't feel good in my skin. I feel like I constantly have to prove something to myself through others. I don't like myself. I need the opposite sex to like me in order for me to like myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to search for other people to validate me and give me worth, instead of realising that it is me who has to give myself validation and worth by stopping participating within the perceptions and beliefs that I have no worth, and even that I should have worth, because worth is a term that implies a gradient/hierarchy, which cannot exist within oneness and equality. Nothing can have worth, because everything is worth the same.

I am picky about who I want to like me. People I perceive as fat and/or ugly are out of the question. I want/need/desire what I have accepted as my own definition of beauty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and rate people according to their picture presentation, and within that completely disregard who they are as Life.

Whenever I notice myself judging/rating/grading people's appearance within my world, I stop, I breathe and I realise that I am in fact judging/rating/grading myself and valuing myself according to the energetic relationship that I have with those people. I breathe and I stop judging/rating/grading myself through grading other people.

I lie to people that looks are not that important to me, because I want to keep feeding on their energy and attention. I want them to want me, but at the same time I don't want to be with them, I simply need that fix of "being liked", therefore I will keep them dependant on me through word manipulation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lie to people about my preferences in order to keep them interested in me so I can feed on my self-created energetic perception of being liked and wanted/needed.

Whenever I see someone else communicating with my target, I go crazy with jealousy and start "marking my turf" by manipulating them and myself further by touching them firmly, almost angrily, and then continue gently massaging, as to assure maximum energetic dependency on myself. I pretend to like people's hobbies and likes, and dislike their dislikes, in order to further that manipulation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of loosing people's attention to other people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I must compete for people's attention.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pretend to like people's likes, and dislike their dislikes, in order to be liked by them, so that I could through them like myself, because otherwise I don't like myself.

Why don't I like myself?

Because my picture presentation, physical body and experience within this world are not as I want/need/desire them to be according to my preprogrammed mind consciousness system of thoughts, feelings and emotions. I know this, however, I still think that I can and want to achieve something, experience something more, have what I couldn't have before... within that completely disregarding the ground that I'm standing on, my own breath or the needless suffering of countless beings, which is perpetuated by that, which I am doing right now, instead of applying myself in order to get this show on the road.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lie/think/believe/perceive to myself that I have no direction, and support that lie/yadayada by validating it with other people's statements about it, when in fact I do not want to direct things, because I have never directed before. I am waiting for direction to come as a result of process, instead of realising that I have to direct my self within breath in the moment according to the common sense mathematical principles of oneness and equality.

Fucking around

Lately I've been fucking around with my relationship constructs. I've been identifying point after point, and I was rather successful, but I've also been avoiding facing some points, like my weight.

I've been overweight all my life, and I experience it as this grave injustice. Why do I have to have such a metabolism, and other people can eat what they want? My weight is fucking with me in my head, and I cannot have proper interactions with people because of it.

If I want to loose weight, I have to starve, which is a wonderful point of self-sabotage. I've always perceived myself as unable to please men with my looks, until one time I starved myself to a much smaller size, and went into the opposite polarity of catching the attention of every guy I wanted and all the guys I didn't want. And even then I couldn't hold onto the one guy I wanted to be with, lol. This whole love business has been one big struggle in my life, therefore I was thrilled to learn what I've always known within myself - that it's all bullshit.

Despite the fact that I fully understand that, I still struggle with my own energies of looking for the safety that is implied within the construct of love, because I've never felt safe, having come from a pretty poor family and having virtually no material possessions within this world. I'm talking about owning my own home. If I did, I couldn't care less about who loves me and who doesn't. Pretty fucked up, since there's people in this world who are going through unbelievable physical pain because of having nothing to eat. I know the discomfort of being hungry, because I've subdued myself to it half of my life because of wanting to loose weight and looking for that safety that is implied within love. But I've never felt actual pain due to not having eaten for weeks. There's absolutely no way in my reality that I would not have been exposed to food for so long. So that is pretty fucked up, and I stop right here and now to try and loose weight, and start caring for my body regardless of its weight.

I perceived that I was always struggling, because loosing weight is "hard work". When I was watching what I was eating, or rather, didn't eat, I lost weight at snail speeds. I lived with a girl who was thin and perfect. One time we went without food for an entire weekend. At the end of that fast she weighed 3 kilograms less, and me only 0,5. I was outraged, sad, unhappy, completely despairing. "I will never be able to do this." Within that - I knew the whole time that letting go of the desire to do it is the way to go, however, I was still wanting to experience "love", which goes through sex and picture manipulation. LOL.

It stops here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to please men with my looks.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to loose weight in order to please men with my looks.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to starve and abuse my physical body within the desire to please men with my looks.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to catch a man into the construct of love, so that I would feel safe and taken care of.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate and define love with safety.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel pressured to loose weight and achieve the model of beauty I have defined for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience my being overweight as a grave injustice that is happening to me, instead of realising it as my own personal program/drama that keeps me occupied and ineffective within this world, where people starve to death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/define love as bullshit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate "love", because I perceived myself as unable to find/create it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to find/create love with another person, instead of realising that I have to love myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse my body with starving.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty for abusing my physical body with starving.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the construct of beauty within this world, and abusing my physical body by doing so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel spiteful towards men who participate with the beauty construct within this world and are judging me for my appearance, instead of realising that it is about me judging my appearance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge/define my appearance as not pleasing enough when I am overweight a lot.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to loose weight in order to have a pleasing appearance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by my appearance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to thin women due to my appearance.

Relationships

Since the beginning of process I've been basically ending up alone. That's what process primarily was for me - my world falling apart and me helping it along, while learning to stand up within it all. I've done all of that alone, and I've developed a certain amount of assertiveness, but I've also been deluding myself that I have changed dramatically. Yes, I have changed a lot, to the point that my family and friends have recognized big changes in me, but in the face of a self-willed equal, my experience is the same as it always was. That is to say that I still go "ROAR", whenever I encounter something that I do not like, and I want to overpower, only now I cannot blame it on my mind, nor do I want to, because mind is part of me.

Up to this point I somehow managed to get everything done the way I wanted it, and when I couldn't, I dealt with it with ease within myself, but now things are very different, because a self-willed equal can stand through manipulation points, where other people can't. Previously I had no expectations of people within my world, because I knew more or less that they wouldn't really hear, because they're not self-willed. So I did my thing and learned to rather enjoy myself alone, to the point where I prefer it over people's company. Because when I have company, I only go on and on about equality and the world in general, and I get rather bored with personal trivia if it's not shared in support, and I don't allow much of what I've allowed previously, so people who want to push what I don't allow within myself simply remove themselves, and that's it. No harm done.

But now I came to a point, where I'm a wee bit lost, because all my perceptions and expectations have nullified themselves, and I'm in uncharted territory. Walking with a processee is turning out to be more difficult than walking alone, which is just another proof that I have to stick to this, because difficult is where the actual change is at. I'm pushing through two sets of resistances now, and sometimes I explode a little. Today I was actually threatening to leave. That will not happen, I will stick to this if it kills me.

There is a certain amount of holy anger in me. I take responsibility to point out the fuckedness of the situation and expose the things I have walked and know. That's what I mean by pushing through two sets of resistances. We're allone in the end.

A funny point I have been experiencing lately is aloneness. The funny part is that I do not experience it when I am actually alone. I experience it within the relationship construct I have obviously built up with this person, because when he's home, I feel alone. I feel like there's a big wall, where there should be fluent communication, which means that I have fucked myself over nicely with them expectations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to threaten people with leaving, if they don't do as I say/ask.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as superior to people, whenever I threatened them with leaving, if they don't do as I say/ask.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of people leaving if I don't do as they say/ask.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as inferior, whenever I was afraid of people leaving, if I don't do as they say/ask.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience fear/inferiority, whenever I didn't want to do something that other people asked of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give in to the experience of holy anger, supported within my mind with arguments of equality, which I have not yet reached.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to utter the word equality without being aware of my breathing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take responsibility for another's process, when I have not dealt with my own yet.

Jealousy

Today I realised the point that has been haunting me for two days now. I was absolutely jealous of my friend, who hasn't written out sex to an extent where it can be self-directed, and is therefore still having energetic mind relationships, which he's trying to establish in the physical. I have tried warning him that the physical will be relentless, if he doesn't let go. I was speaking from personal experience, because I've been there. There is fuckedness beyond belief when going against equality and common sense in pursuing energetic sex, that much is true. However, I didn't notice that I am simply terribly jealous of him, because I do not allow myself this kind of behaviour anymore. I went into a sort of 'how dare you still pursue this when even I have come to terms with it' behaviour. 'There's a whole planet suffering, we don't have time for this shit.' My mind is terribly good at manipulating itself, and looking for a back door, through which I could fall again.

The point that is bothering me, in essence, is touch (not necessarily in a sexual way). I've been busy with touch for a while, and I have all sorts of mind definitions and pictures of how nice it feels, so those have got to go. I am missing touch, because I am so separated from myself, that me touching me doesn't do the trick.

Agreement with myself

Today I had an indiscretion, in which I interfered with the process of other beings. This point has been haunting me since forever and it stops here.

I was basically watching an energetic pattern between two beings play out, and since I am indirectly involved, I decided to expose it mainly due to my own selfishness. I was impatient, and wasn't willing to wait for the pattern to play out on its own, since I have limited time. I was reacting heavily inside, because I knew that I'm dealing with this the wrong way instead of writing it out. The consequence of it is that now one of the participants hates me, and the other one ain't too happy 'bout the situation either. There was a certain unwillingness to face self, and for a moment it made me worried about this whole endeavour that we're undertaking together, therefore I shared a story about me facing myself within my agreement with myself, which is worth sharing here as well:

Last year I had a relationship with a guy in hopes that he will eventually hear desteni and we can turn this into an agreement, but I was lucid enough to see right away that this will not work. I stopped all feely goody feelings and butterflies with self-forgiveness, the relationship fell apart, and I moved on. An agreement with self means that one is willing to face self even when all seems hunky dory, because there is an awareness that things are really not hunky dory on a planetary level.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I must push other beings to face self, instead of realising that it is always about me having to face something within myself.

I explained that I am worried about missing this opportunity to experience ourselves as ourselves instead of holding up an energetic picture of ourselves, and he exposed this as a mindfuck, which it is, because the opportunity is always there, and taken or missed only by ourselves.

all expectations must fall

I moved in with a friend in process. I had some expectations about this. I was expecting communication to be flowing easily, self-forgiveness to be done together, and I also expected to try non-energetic sex at some point. I was under the impression that walking with him, after two years of process, would be easy as one to three, only to have all of those perceptions tumble down like a house of cards. I was perceiving that there would be willingness to immediately face energetic points, which there wasn't, and suddenly I've found myself in the middle of this energetic relationship, where we're still competing, comparing and trying to win. There's a lot of awkward smiling going on, and a lot of knowledge and information is being thrown around.
At some point, before moving in together, I was approached with the question of how many masseurs I have, which is obvious code for sex, therefore the statement was energetic, and I knew this. I freaked out a little, because I didn't have any desire to have sex with this person, but I saw this as a good opportunity to face myself and push myself in terms of not having sexual desires and preferences about people. I told him that the thing is open for discussion, and I released some points with self-forgiveness, but I didn't notice how I became energetically possessed about it, when I was imagining how walking with a processee would be.
After two talks like that, I read in one of his blogs that he dislikes me now, and in that moment I thought "Classic behaviour - now that he knows that he can have sex with me, I'm not interesting anymore". I was a bit upset, because I thought that this could not be happening to him, beacuse he's been in process for so long, surely he must have written out quite some sex.
The thing I was most upset about was trust. I was under the impression (desire) that
I am able to trust a Destonian just as much as myself, but this is not the case.
I have been yearning for trusting and honest relationships forever, because I did not (and still don't) have absolute self-trust.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to be able to be absolutely honest in a relationship, instead of realising that I have to be absolutely honest with myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I can and must be absolutely honest with Destonians in process.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be able to trust another person, instead of realising that I do not need to trust another person, if I trust myself completely.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior within relationships that I perceive as mroe trusting than others, because there are more secrets being shared.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior to other people, whenever someone trusts me with a perceived secret.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to have 'special' and 'more trusting' relationships with men/certain people, which woudl lift me up above the general population, because I am getting to know things that not everyone knows.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the general population of this planet within the desire to have 'special relationships' that are more than 'regular relationships'.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the general population of this planet within feeling superior for having knowledge that not everyone has.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that knowledge makes/will make me superior to other people.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I must be trusted by other people, otherwise I am less than.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel insulted and degraded, whenever I notice someone not trusting me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel outraged whenever someone does not trust me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior and less than, whenever someone does not trust me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach a positive connotation to the word 'trust'.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word trust within the desire to be able to trust other people as much as I trust myself, instead of realising that the desire to trust other people comes from not trusting myself, and needing moral support on my decisions and actions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself entirely with my decisions and action.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to need moral support with my decisions and actions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with anger and disbelief whenever I encounter unwillingness to face points in self-honesty with other people, and then blame and project guilt onto them, instead of realising that I myself am creating the same unwillingness to face points within myself, and am therefore only perpetuating the global ego fuckup by reacting to other people's and my own self-dishonesty.

revenge of the dentist

Yesterday I went to the dentist. I was afraid of dentists all my life due to immense pain of fixing my teeth without anesthetic when I was a child.

I wrote out the fears that I could remember, before I went to the dentist's office. On the way there I was amazed at myself how I'm not worried about going to the dentist. I was laughing on the inside. I was yet again flabbergasted by the undeniable effect of self-forgiveness.

I didn't get weak knees, when I sat on the dentist's chair. I didn't panic, when I saw the drilling machinery. My heart didn't race, when he was checking my mouth.

He was checking and poking around, stretching my lips apart like he wanted to make them two sizes bigger, but I didn't flinch. Then he sat next to me, and said: "We'll have to pull that wisdom tooth out." I felt a swoosh of fear throughout my whole body. I forgot to forgive myself for fearing my teeth being pulled out. I would have laughed at myself, only the fear was too overwhelming. I asked the dentist to let me out of the chair for five minutes, so I could take a stroll and think. I really wanted to go out and do my self-forgiveness, come back, and have it over with. But the dentist suggested we could do another surgery on another tooth, and take this one out next time. I agreed to that, and endured a violent, bruising surgery, with a whole lot less fears than before in my life. My main concern was the anesthetic not being strong enough, and me having to endure pain again. I was not specific enough with my self-forgiveness on that point.

After everything was done, and I was out of the dentist's office, I did start laughing at myself, because I was actually looking forward to going to the dentist the next time without fearing something I had feared for so long and neglected my teeth because of it. What a relief.

http://desteniiprocess.com/

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of going to the dentist due to anticipation of pain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to anticipate pain, when I go to the dentist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of dentists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I will be in a massive amount of pain, if I visit the dentist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel nervous and worried, whenever I sit down in the dentists chair.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive going to the dentist as an experience of immense pain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel nervous and worried whenever I smell the dentists chemicals.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel nauseous whenever I smell the dentists chemicals.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel nauseous and scared whenever I sit down in the dentists chair.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of sitting in the dentists chair.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel nervous and worried whenever I sit down in the dentists chair.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate dentists because of the pain I have to endure whenever I am there.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of the physical pain that I must endure in order to have healthy teeth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of the dentist drilling in my teeth because of past memories of pain while drilling.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel contempt for dentists, because they choose their profession because of money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that dentists choose their calling only because of money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be distrusting of my dentist and think that he is only after money and is not going to really fix my teeth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel and be careful around dentists, because I defined them as people who are only after money, because who could possibly enjoy smelling and looking into people's mouths.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel and be disgusted by the smell that comes out of people's mouths, when their teeth are bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed of the smell that is coming from my mouth and bad teeth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to panic whenever I have to sit down in a dentists chair.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect pain and be worried about it, whenever I sit down in the dentist's chair.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be worried about being hurt by the dentist physically.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be worried that the dentist is not going to do his job properly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accuse dentists of/think/believe/perceive that they are deliberately doing a bad job in order for people to come back to them and make them more money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word dentist with the word pain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear experiencing pain whenever I go to the dentist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the dentists critique about my teeth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that the dentist has a right to be angry with me if I don’t take care of my teeth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be worried because I do not brush my teeth every day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise my teeth by not brushing them every day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed and embarrassed because my teeth are yellow from smoking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that beautiful teeth are white.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word beautiful with having white teeth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I am not beautiful/ugly because I have yellow teeth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel spiteful and jealous of people who have whiter teeth than me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to have whiter teeth than I do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of going to the dentist because of pain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be reluctant to visit the dentist because of prior expectations of pain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the physical pain that accompanies going to the dentist, instead of realizing that I must do this for my teeth to not fall out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be worried about having to endure physical pain at the dentists, instead of realizing that I am always ok afterwards and it is only a short lasting pain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be worried that the anti-pain medication will not work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of having an operation done to me and cutting me while I am awake.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of feeling the sensation of being cut and operated on, while I am awake and fully aware.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel hostility for the dentist because of causing me physical pain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel violent whenever I experience physical pain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid and fearful of experiencing physical pain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel respect for dentists because they are people who are well situated within the system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel attracted to dentists because they are people who are well situated within the system, and could therefore take care of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of the dentist drilling in my teeth, because I was afraid of the pain, instead of realizing that he must do that in order to save my teeth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of the dentist pulling my teeth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of the pain that is associated with pulling teeth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed and embarrassed that my teeth have to be pulled out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of anesthetics not working good enough, and me having to endure physical pain because of it.