"I will form relationships with my partner's family, so that I wouldn't have to be absolutely self-responsible" character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to hide behind my partner in terms of material safety, and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lie to myself and pretend and make myself appear that I am helpful and helping my partner, in order to hide from myself the fact that I am relying on their material and financial stability to keep me safe in the future in this world, instead of realising that I need to end these kinds of relationships in order to learn to stand on my own.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to spend as much time as possible with my partner's family, in order for me to efficiently infiltrate their ranks and make them like me, so that I could seem to be part of them, could live with them and therefore wouldn't have to take absolute self-responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed of myself for hiding behind my partner and hoping that I will have material and financial stability with them in the future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope that my partner will provide me with material and financial safety and security in the future, if I do things for them now and make myself appear to be a helpful and nice person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form relationships with my partner's family in order to keep myself in interaction with them, so that I could justify being and living with them in the future,  because I do not feel safe and secure on my own.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form a character that my partner's family will like, in order for me to be able to live with them in the future, and with that secure my own material and financial easy street in the future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pretend that I like the people in my partner's 

family, so that they would like me back and accept me as a family member and allow me to be/live with them in the future, so that I wouldn't have to struggle and fend for myself on my own.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of living on my own in the future and fending for myself.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realise how I am abdicating my self-responsibility by forming relationships with my partner's family members.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope/wish/want/need/desire for my partner's family to see me as a valuable asset to the family, hard-working and non-complaining, so that I would secure my place among them in the future and be able to justify it with "I am helpful".

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to gossip and talk shit about my partner's family with my partner behind their back, in that creating an even more special relationship with my partner, so that 

I would ensure that I would never be left to fend for myself, but would always have a safehaven with my partner at all times.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my self-dignity in order to compromise myself by creating a character that my partner's family will like and want to support me in the future, so that I would not have to be absolutely self-responsible, but could hide behind them and make them responsible for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create relationships with my partner's family in order to not have to take absolute self-responsibility for myself and my world, instead of remaining here in breath and directing myself with common sense towards what is best for all.

When and as I see forming/creating/supporting relationships with other people in my head in order to avoid having to take absolute self-responsibility, I stop, I breathe, I investigate the point, relase it with self-forgiveness, and direct myself in breath with common sense towards what is best for all.

I commit myself to stop and remove all relationships, because I realise that I form relationships with people in order to not have to take absolute responsibility for myself and my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to bind myself to my partner by allowing him and his parents to take care of me in terms of giving me their car to drive and giving me money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be nice to my partner's parents and suck up to them and flatter them and their work/intelligence/achievements/children in order to manipulate them into liking me and wanting me around in the future, so that I could enjoy their home and not have to deal with having to be absolutely self-responsible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to envy my partner because i perceive that he has more material stability within this world than me, and blame him that he is better off than me, and should feel bad about that, and want to help me, so that I would not have to be absolutely self-responsible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to infiltrate my partner's family who I perceive to be more materially and financially stable than my own, in order to be able to enjoy that stability and safety and security in the future, instead of realising that by forming relationships with them in order to infiltrate them, I am abdicating my responsibility for myself in the future and with that I am abdicating my power to the people I have formed relationhsips with, thus - I am making myself dependant on their "will" and thus - I am gambling - and gamblers usually loose.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to have a rich partner, so that I wouldn't have to work too hard in this world in order to secure my survival, instead of realising how by doing so I am compromising myself and abdicating my self-responsibility and self-certainty and exchanging  them for a gamble.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that in order to have a dignified life, I must find a partner with a lot of money, instead of realising how self-interested I am for wanting a better life for myself in the face of children dying from famine in this world.