Wednesday, 11 July 2012

"I'll make my partner form relationships with my family, so that he would never leave me" character


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to make my partner stay with me by creating an illusion of safety for him in my family, and make him form relationships with my family members and with that bind him to me for all eternity to be at my disposal as I like.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to completely transform my partner into my family member, so that I could manipulate him with memories and "what I have done for him" into being/staying with me, so that I would not have to be alone and face myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire for my partner to be and become like siblings with my siblings, so that I would have an easier time manipulating him into doing what i want with those emotional bonds.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate my partner with the emotional bonds that he has created with my family members, and extort him with their opinions of him (which I can also manipulate), if he desn't do what I say and want.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make my partner feel appreciated from my family's side by doing things for us, so that I could further manipulate him with praising and making him feel good about himself around me, so that he would want to spend as much time with me as possible, and not wander around and hang with other people.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and prevent my partner from expanding himself with other people, simply because I want him to be with me all the time, give me worth and value, because I do not like myself and I do not accept myself by myself - so I need/want/desire for him to do it for me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into absolute fear, whenever I see/perceive my partner wanting to be and hang with other people, because if that happens - I will feel less than and abandoned.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate my partner by letting him drive my car, and with that holding him on a very short leash, so that I can call him and demand he come to me whenever I want him to.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use and abuse my partner in order to feel powerful and in control.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to control my partner with money and material safety in the future, which I know is not real.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to threaten my partner that I will take away his material safety in the future - leave him - if he doesn't do as I say and demand.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior for manipulating my partner into being only with me and not allowing him to expand with other people, and feel inferior whenever he does that.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to who my partner is spending time with, when he is not with me, according to my own relationships that i have formed with those people in my head.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel diminished, inferior and less than, whenever my partner spends time with other people and not me.

No comments:

Post a Comment